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Turn Baby Turn
It’s been a while since I’ve updated, but then again “I’m laying on the couch some more” is not very prolific blog post material.
I took my glucose screening test a couple weeks ago, and I learned that abstaining from sweets for 24 hours wasn’t worth the dread I had brought upon myself for the month leading up to it. I passed the test with a 51 — so far below the 135 cutoff that I was concerned that I am actually hypoglycemic. However, Dr. Roberts said for this particular test he’s not concerned about any numbers except those above 135. I accepted that answer indifferently — I have enough nesting concerns swirling around in my brain that I can’t burden myself with unnecessary worry right now.
I found out through those same test results that I’m anemic, so Dr. Roberts recommended I start taking iron supplements. Minh, my favorite pill skeptic, has been reminding me of the nutrients in spinach and poultry in addition to cooking in a cast-iron skillet each night. I’m slowly feeling less extreme exhaustion, though it may be the placebo effect — but I’m fine with that.
This past weekend was Halloween. I dressed as Larry the Cable Guy (complete with a “beer” belly) for a work costume celebration. I didn’t win the costume contest, but I assured myself that had everyone realized that my costume’s accessory was a real live baby and not 50 pounds of extra fat, I would have surely nabbed first place. Maybe my fat tire was so convincing that no one could tell I’m pregnant.
My second Halloween victory was convincing my coworkers to dress up as CMYK.
On Saturday, I experienced pretty moderate cramping for the better part of the evening. Minh force-fed me water, which helped to the point that I was able to fall asleep, but I still hit up the on-call doctor just in case. He said as long as I wasn’t bleeding and baby was moving normally, I didn’t need to drive to the hospital and could wait until Monday morning to call Dr. Roberts. Throughout the weekend I convinced myself that I had a bladder infection due to the sharp, shooting pain I felt when Leon kicked downward. I even got up to pee every hour during the nights — what else could it be?
Turns out I don’t actually know what a bladder infection feels like because this was the second time in my pregnancy that I cried wolf, only to be reminded in the doctor’s office that “peeing a lot” is just another symptom of a normal pregnancy. By the time I saw the obstetrician on Wednesday, the cramping had subsided. Dr. Roberts explained that Leon is in the process of trying to turn, so the pressure I felt was him pushing downwards, and now that he’s about halfway turned, the pain in my right set of ribs made sense as well. I’m hoping he’ll be able to turn completely; I was warned at 7 weeks that he may be breech because of my weird-shaped, tilted uterus, but I’m holding out hope that he’ll figure it out in the next nine weeks.
Minh’s been taking to my new convex-shaped belly more and more lately. He likes to feel the kicks and put his ear down to my belly to hear Leon move around. Sometimes Leon will even kick his cheek as he’s talking, then Minh will giggle and read to him, sing to him, and even ask him about how his day went. I’m not sure how well Leon is able to “react” to external non-threatening stimuli yet, but he’s been more consistent at wiggling around when he hears his daddy’s voice.
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The Joys of Pregnancy
The joys of pregnancy:
- Finding yourself excited about your growing bump because now you can lay down and prop your phone on your belly without your arm getting sore.
- The 10 seconds of warning you have in between “Uh-oh, I feel sad” and a complete meltdown because of a plot twist in the new TV show you’ve been watching.
- Waking up a record of five times in the middle of the night to pee, and kind of being morbidly curious about what your new record will look like at week 39 or 40.
- Arriving at the office in the morning, then promptly driving back home because you realized you forgot to close the front door.
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Miscellaneous Thoughts #3 — Exhausted Preggo Edition
- I’m a few days late to post, but we had our 24-week appointment last Tuesday. The doctor wanted to do another ultrasound because we weren’t able to see Leon’s kidneys and lower spine last time due to his position. Thankfully he was head-down this time, so they were able to confirm that his kidneys and spine look great. (Downside was that because he had his head so low, we didn’t get very many cute face pictures.) My next appointment will be a 28-week gestational diabetes test, and from then I’ll have appointments every other week.
- After the ultrasound technician checked Leon’s kidneys, she asked us, “See that thing that looks like a turtle?” Minh and I leaned in and confirmed that we saw the strange turtle-looking organ on the monitor. She cheerfully revealed: “It’s still a boy!” I awkwardly chuckled, as that was not at all what I expected that to be. I now have four pictures of my fetus’s genitals. I have no idea what to do with these pictures.
- I made a goal at the beginning of my pregnancy to run on a regular basis until the start of my third trimester, as I had hoped to reduce unnecessary weight gain and make labor a little easier. But after not running (or even walking) for almost two weeks, I think I’ve got to throw in the towel. It’s hard enough to wake up before 10 a.m. on weekdays — not to mention waking up 45 minutes earlier than absolutely necessary just to squeeze into a sports bra that I can barely move in (which fit perfectly pre-pregnancy) and quickly shuffle my feet for 2.5 miles. The pace and distance that I’d been doing the last couple months to used to be a warm-up for me, but recently it’s felt as easy as dragging two lead posts through wet cement. I’ll try to still get up early and walk, but realistically speaking I know it’s going to be easier said than done.
- I woke up five times last night to use the restroom. My back and hips hurt all evening. I still have 15 weeks to go, but I’m starting to feel how much my body is changing. I hope the imminent third trimester is bearable.
- At about 1:30 this morning, I was cuddling with my precious Snoogle (which lately is becoming less of an accessory and more of a necessity), trying to find the perfect position that wouldn’t exhaust my hips too quickly. Suddenly I felt a swift tug, and the next thing I knew I had been robbed of the bottom half of my Snoogle! I hissed something along the lines of “That’s mine, you thief!” and yanked my pillow back. It took me several minutes to readjust my position, in which time Minh was already snoring and I had to go to the bathroom again. I was so irrationally angry that I had mean dreams about him for the rest of the night.
- I’m a few days late to post, but we had our 24-week appointment last Tuesday. The doctor wanted to do another ultrasound because we weren’t able to see Leon’s kidneys and lower spine last time due to his position. Thankfully he was head-down this time, so they were able to confirm that his kidneys and spine look great. (Downside was that because he had his head so low, we didn’t get very many cute face pictures.) My next appointment will be a 28-week gestational diabetes test, and from then I’ll have appointments every other week.
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Miscellaneous Thoughts #2
- Today I’m exactly 24 weeks — it’s Vitality Day! That just means that if I were to go into labor tomorrow, Leon would have a greater-than-50-percent chance of surviving. Obviously those aren’t ideal odds and we definitely want to keep him incubated for much longer, but it’s exciting to recognize that we’ve made it to this point!
- Yesterday I got my oil changed at a local tire store. I stood behind the counter while talking to the attendant, but when I moved around the counter to sign the paperwork, he asked if I know whether I’m having a boy or girl. I excitedly said, “BOY!” It was the first time a stranger had mentioned my pregnancy without me saying or hinting about it first. My coworkers have even commented that my belly has grown quite a bit in the past week, but when I look at previous pictures of me, I think my stomach looks just as big as it was six weeks ago. Minh even says it’s getting huge, so it must just be an illusion to me.
- Last night, Minh and I watched a Korean rom-com called My Sassy Girl. [SPOILERS] I made it through the entire movie with only crying a couple of (understandable) tears, but when Minh asked me what I thought of the movie after the credits rolled, I broke down and started bawling. I didn’t even know why I was crying except that the movie was just so…sad. I blubbered to Minh that Gyeon-woo was so sweet and he waited for her for three years and it didn’t even make sense because she was abusive and manipulative and only was attracted to him because he reminded her of her dead boyfriend, and it wasn’t nice because he was just so sweet to her. Minh hugged me and apologized because he thought I would enjoy the movie, and he only laughed a couple times at my overdramatic, hormonal reaction. After about ten minutes of my hysterical sobbing, he turned on the music to one of Leon’s toys and danced around like a puppet in an attempt to make me smile. I think I’ll keep him around 😉
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Tiny Feet
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Showered with Love
This past weekend was Labor Day. Minh and I took a couple extra days off so we — that is, Minh — could drive to Missouri to visit my extended family, since this was the last holiday weekend I’ll feel comfortable traveling. With assistance from my brother, two of my aunts threw us a baby shower at a local community center. I should have known based on the meticulously chosen shower invitations (featuring elephants, to the theme of Leon’s nursery), that it would be a beautiful event worthy of its own Pinterest board.
As soon as we entered the community center I was given a “Mommy To Be” sash, “Mom To Be” ribbon, and tiara to put on. The decorations were adorable and fit the theme perfectly — elephant cookies that spelled out “LEON” and “#TinyHalfAsianBaby,” diaper “cakes” shaped like elephants, and a fruit salad that looked like a (half-Asian) baby in a bassinet, among other desserts and decorations. We played some small games, such as guessing the number of chocolates in a huge baby bottle and estimating the cost of standard baby gear. But every time someone won, they didn’t actually get a prize for themselves — they just had to get up to give us one of the gifts on the coffee table in the center of the circle!
My stomach actually looks very non-pregnant in these pictures, but I swear if my boobs weren’t the size of a continent right now my belly would actually look somewhat big. When it came time to open the gifts, I felt truly humbled. I had never received so many gifts at one time in my life (granted, they were for our family as a whole and mostly for Leon, but I got to open them)! We received cute stuffed elephants for Leon’s nursery, bath sets, toys and rattles, a diaper bag, adorable outfits of different sizes, some bottles and feeding gear, books, blankets, diapers, nursery decorations, etc. — even a car seat and a huge stuffed bear! My brother was ecstatic to give us the gift he made — it was a truck piggy-bank that he painted, which now sits on Leon’s bookshelf ready for money. Our car was so full that we had a hard time just stuffing our tiny backpacks behind the front seats when it was time to leave, and forget about reclining the seats.
It was so great to see both my mom’s and dad’s side of the family before Leon arrives, because who knows how long it’ll be after he’s born before we feel ready to attempt to travel 500+ miles. The fact that we may not see my whole family for a while makes me a little sad, but it’s a really good feeling to know that when we do see everyone again, our little dude will be smothered with so much love.
I’ve written before about how Minh’s hand on my belly was apparently the perfect recipe to calm Leon’s frantic kicks. But as we were laying in bed in the hotel room on the way back to Texas, my prankster fetus apparently decided it was finally time to let his daddy feel his dance moves. Minh said it was subtle and felt like popcorn popping. At one point a few days prior, he even saw my stomach move.
Oh, and my birthday is Sunday. Had it not been for friends probing me about plans or my dad asking what gift I want, I may have actually forgotten. I’ve been so busy planning my son’s literal birth day that my 27th spin around the sun seems insignificant. Minh pleaded with me to choose a fancy restaurant to celebrate at, rather than the cafeteria-style Mediterranean joint I suggested offhandedly. Unlike my birthdays before, this year there will be no huge party. I’m getting a crib mattress as a birthday present and I can’t think of anything that I would want more. Except maybe a maid to start cleaning regularly again — any takers?
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Whoa, We’re Halfway There
Last week was a pretty exciting week, for quite a few reasons! I was so busy (and tired) that I wasn’t able to write anything out until now. But it’s still just as exciting!
1. First and foremost, we had our 20-week anatomy scan! I wasn’t as nervous for this ultrasound as I was for our 16-week one, because we had just seen Leon a few weeks prior and his kicks have become progressively stronger lately. Just as we had hoped, Leon looked great. We had a different ultrasound technician than the previous three ultrasounds, so it gave us extra reassurance since another set of eyes had given him a clean bill of health. She even showed us the ventricle in his brain that would be enlarged if he had hydrocephalus. At the time of our ultrasound, he was a whopping 15 ounces and measuring exactly a week ahead of schedule! The doctor also said my weight gain so far is exactly on target for the halfway point. We weren’t able to check his lower spine or kidneys because of his position so we’ll get another ultrasound next month, but at least his heart and brain look good.
2. Last week I reached out to a number of local Montessori schools and learning centers and narrowed my list down to a handful of my favorites. From there I shrunk the list down based on recommendations and ratings, and we decided to tour the two we felt were the best out of those. Our Option 1 school wasn’t bad, but we weren’t impressed. The teachers were all young, and on our tour we weren’t given much more information than we could have found online — we left after 15 minutes, still not knowing much about the lesson plans, sanitary processes, meal programs, or special events that the school had to offer.
Our tour for Option 2 was scheduled with the school’s owner, who immediately described the school’s emphasis on play-based learning. The lesson plans are posted outside the door of each classroom; infants will be exposed to sign language and gross motor skill activities immediately. She pointed out the various toys in the infant room and described how those toys stimulate the babies’ brains, as well as how they’re sanitized multiple times a day. She explained how important it was that we begin having open-ended conversations with Leon immediately; once he learns to babble, he’ll have grasped the concept of “When I talk, they talk back to me!”
My favorite thing about the school is that we’ll be given access to an app that notifies us of what Leon’s learning that day, how much and when he ate, when he peed/pooped, etc. — then in the evening we’ll be emailed a summary with pictures of him throughout the day. One thing Minh said he liked was the fact everyone entering the infant room must wear medical shoe covers to decrease exposure to germs. The school also has fundraisers (such as bringing in school supplies in the late summer) so the kids can grow up learning the importance of giving back to the community. I left feeling really excited — not only was Leon going to have so much fun, I hoped he would be part of the 95% of the school’s children who enter kindergarten testing at or above a kindergarten level.
The next morning I brought in our registration fee to reserve Leon’s spot for April. (The infant classroom was already booked up through March; they only enroll eight babies at one time because the children don’t share cribs.) I was given the parents’ handbook and a binder that will hold Leon’s records and assessments, and they invited us to decorate it. So I did.
3. I’m currently reading a book called Bringing Up Bébé. Minh’s already listened to the audiobook and has been eager to discuss it with me. It’s essentially an American woman’s observations of French parenting after moving to Paris. French children — in general — play patiently by themselves, sleep through the night around two or three months, and eat the same foods as adults (with only one snack between meals). Granted, it’s not be-all-end-all advice; some things the French do better, and some things the Americans do better. But I’m willing to do my due diligence to ensure that we don’t end up raising a terror-child who throws tantrums every time we walk through the candy aisle of the grocery store or who chucks toys at us because we tell him it’s time for dinner. Or who grows up to wear pinky rings unironically.
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Ode to the Snoogle
Last week I was gifted (by myself) a Snoogle. It may or may not be the best present I’ve ever received (from myself).
What is a Snoogle, you ask? Basically, it’s an extremely firm pregnancy pillow that’s shaped like an unused staple. To use it, you essentially hug the long midsection and the two ends wrap around your shoulder and your booty. Minh calls this technique “riding the seahorse” — except, instead of riding the seahorse, technically you’re kind of just hugging it…in an awkward way.
But no matter what you look like embracing it, this thing is a pretty cool. Forget putting a limp pillow between your knees; the Snoogle is like being hugged by Jesus himself. No more back pain or limbs going numb. The first time I used it, I fell asleep within minutes and only accidentally rolled onto my back once.
That said, though, there are a couple downsides:
- Pregnant women get up to pee approximately 500-700 times per night[citation needed]. The makers of the Snoogle obviously didn’t QA-test this product with an actual pregnant woman, because if they had, they’d have installed a trap door or escape hatch or something. Detaching oneself from the hug of the Snoogle is no easy feat. I’ve kind of figured out over the last few nights that if I roll onto my back, pull the pillow away from my head, then violently kick the bottom half, I can manage to free myself. This process only takes about fifteen minutes. But I’m still a mere 20 weeks along and I’ve got a lot of growing to do; I imagine this technique gets harder the larger one gets.
- Rolling over is also kind of an issue. You can’t roll over with the blankets covering you; you have to flip them onto your significant other first (and risk him just taking them for his own). Then you can start the process of actually rolling over — first by unlatching your head, then squeezing your thighs as you roll with the pillow. Then you simply twirl the upper section of the pillow and adjust everything else. By this point though, you’ve done so much work that you have to pee again, so you might as well just go through the steps to free yourself. Honestly, the last few nights I’ve just given up and laid across it like I was chilling on an innertube, completely defeating the purpose of buying the Snoogle in the first place.
But those two sort-of big issues aside, the Snoogle’s not bad. If you’re a pregnant woman who doesn’t ever roll over or wake up to use the restroom, this product is perfect! (Sarcasm aside, it really is a million times better than a flat pillow.)
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Nesting is No Joke
I hadn’t had a day (or even necessarily a moment) I would describe as “hormonal” until yesterday. I began the day agonizing over our trip to the grocery store the day before; Minh had gotten frustrated that I was taking a long time looking at kitchen utensils when he just wanted to grab a couple ingredients for lunch. Around noon, I decided to take a nap to distract myself from my distress, but Minh was playing his computer game too loudly. I had suddenly become hyperaware of the fact that my life is just so hard and the world is conspiring against me.
Minh rushed into the bedroom and attempted to calm me down as I sobbed hysterically about how mean he was being for being mad at me in the grocery store and playing his game at such an inconsiderate volume. He suggested that we count as a form of distraction, but for some reason the number 16 is just really sad and therefore that endeavor failed miserably. Cheerfully, he recommended we watch the remainder of The Jungle Book, which we started watching the night before (but I was too tired to finish). Thankfully, talking animals are the perfect diversion for a moody preggo.
After The Jungle Book, I sauntered into the kitchen. Minh had left an empty jug of sweet tea on the counter, which was absolutely unacceptable and obviously meant that he was intentionally disrespecting me as a person. I retreated to the living room to escape the madness, when I noticed a wad of Kleenexes balled up on the ottoman. I could feel the tears building up before I realized that those were actually my Kleenexes from when I was crying earlier.
I had become progressively more aware of the neglected state of the house the past couple weeks. Although I hadn’t gained back the energy to clean much beyond maintaining the dishwasher, the hair on the bathroom counters and spiderwebs along the baseboards had become less ignorable. Enough was enough. This house needed to be cleaned. It was time.
I always thought of the act of “nesting” was more of a relaxing undertaking; my impression of a nesting woman would comprise of a cute mother-to-be arranging the stuffed animals in her baby’s nursery while chanting kumbaya. In reality, my energy to decontaminate the house was fueled by a burning panic of raising my offspring in a cesspool of his parents’ filth. As I tidied each room, I couldn’t clean fast enough — I felt like I was scrubbing the floors of a mansion with a toothbrush. I imagined my innocent baby learning to roll over for the first time and the horror of his revealed stomach resembling an everything bagel. My task was insurmountable and needed to be done now, and the frustration that our house would never be as spotless as the day we moved in caused me to plop down on the floor like a toddler and whine-scream a couple times.
After several hours of nonstop cleaning, Minh somehow convinced me to just finish scrubbing the toilets and then finish for the day. By that point, I had acquired a sharp pain in my chest that had originally only hurt when I bent over to pick up the dustpan, but by the end of my cleaning rampage the pain had intensified and only lessened when I laid flat on my back with my arms at my sides. I spent the rest of the evening imitating a board on the couch, watching season three of Broad City and appreciating the distinct pitter-patter of Leon’s tiny legs probably playing Dance Dance Revolution against my cervix.
While I thankfully feel “normal” (i.e., less of a hormonal lunatic) today, I’m still just as bothered by the stains on the window sills and the water spots on the bathroom sinks. But I guess that’s for next weekend.
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The Scariest Doctor’s Visit of All Time Ever
On Monday night I was laying on the couch with the two little dogs while talking on the phone with Minh as he drove back from a dinner meeting. I wasn’t really paying attention to the dogs, but then Reese got excited hearing Minh’s voice through the phone and stepped on my stomach to get closer to the phone. It didn’t hurt, but out of frustration/fear, I scolded her and put her outside right away — even though she probably didn’t understand what she did wrong. 🙁
I figured everything would be fine with Leon, but he wasn’t his usual wiggly self Monday night when I went to bed, and when I tapped my stomach yesterday (Tuesday) morning to try to get him to move I got no response. I felt him (weakly) a couple times later yesterday morning, but it was kind of unusual because for the past two weeks he’s been kicking like crazy — and progressively harder. So I called the doctor yesterday afternoon, just to get reassurance that tiny chihuahuas step on women’s bellies all the time, no big deal, baby would be fine.
To my surprise though, the nurse asked me to come in immediately for an emergency ultrasound. I almost cried as I told my boss I had to leave work, and then I broke down when I finally got a hold of Minh and told him I was going to the doctor. He reassured me everything would be all right, but I was inconsolable. He offered to drive to the hospital immediately to support me, but I knew that he had just been on a call and it wasn’t easy for him to just step away from work. I had tears running down my face as I walked into the waiting room, and I kept sniffling as I waited to be called back.
As it turned out, everything WAS all right — Leon had just coincidentally changed positions Monday evening and that’s why I was having a hard time feeling him. He even bodyslammed against my uterine wall a few times for the ultrasound technician to show us he was fully mobile. Obviously I’m so relieved that he’s OK, but instead of going back to immediately feeling happy again, I couldn’t help but feel almost…traumatized. I was just so emotionally drained from yesterday afternoon that when I got home, I just laid on the couch all night.
I felt almost normal again when I woke up this morning, but I will never make jokes about Leon moving so much ever again. Every time I’ve felt him kick these past 24 hours, I’ve been incredibly grateful and overwhelmed with relief. Love my baby.
Oh, and on a closing note, because Leon is proving himself to be a prankster already, he literally stops kicking EVERY. SINGLE. TIME Minh puts his hand on my belly. Hopefully Minh will be able to feel his baby soon.
